Being free????

What is being free? Free from debt, free from poverty, free from danger. All of the above right. But what does it mean to be free mentally and physically? For me it means being able to be content, happy, and comfortable with my life choices alongside my ability to just be me.

So if being mentally free is all those things why is is it so damn hard to achieve? Simple answer is I’m an over-thinker and a helper. I love helping people even if it means being disliked for that help, but then because I over think I can’t help hate that my help came at a cost of me being disliked and spending hours picking apart every little aspect of conversation I had or thing I did to help that person wondering if there was any other outcome to be achieved. Over analysing it step by step.

How do you over come that? Truth is I’m still working on it and always will be. I ask myself a question “am I going to ruminate over it?” if the answer is “no” then I can let it go but if the answer is “yes” then I need to address it. By addressing it I mean maybe having a conversation with someone about how you feel about that interaction or anything that can help me feel better about the situation and stop ruminating on it.

Being free is so much more and different to the individual. For me it’s all about the question I mentioned above. Can I be happy with it or not? If I can be happy with my choice of outfit, my choice of food, my choice to not do the dishes then I am free. I can manage the day.

Physical freedom is all about the physical things like money, your relationships, your life choices and living circumstances. For me I have freedom in most of these areas and the one I have struggled with is money for many years. Over the Covid pandemic I managed to get myself into debt like a lot of others probably and it got me down both mentally and physically so I was not free. I was trapped.
It took a lot of determination and help from ‘StepChange Debt Charity’, friends, family and my partner to be able to work towards being more in control of my finances so much so that I am now able to enjoy my life again.

Enjoying my freedom. This is all I want to be able to do. It’s what everyone truly aims for in life or so I think.
For me its being able to learn to drive without worrying about how I’m going to pay it off, but that means I can dream of the freedoms that will bring me like the ability to travel anywhere in the country without the cost of trains or buses, it means I can visit my partner, family and friends whenever I want, it means I can work as a freelancer and go to the jobs that have no public transport.
What else does living my freedom entail, well I guess it means I don’t have to worry about the little things as much as I used to have to. I know I will be able to feed myself, I know I will be able to save for that game I wanted, I know I will be a able to buy new clothes for work or as a treat.

Do I have to be sensible and and not let my freedom get carried away? Yes!

If I let myself get carried away as I did over the Covid period then I will be putting myself back into the trap I was in and for me that means my mental health suffers too. For me that is not an option and I will do everything I can to maintain a sense of freedom and balance to my life.
I still have so much to gain in life and so much more I need to do and achieve and I really want to be able to do it without being trapped.

Comment below if you want to share what freedom is to you.

VPCreativ_